• How To Survive Your 20s

Default Cry (How to deal with social stress)

Updated: Sep 16, 2020

When you make it past the hurdle more commonly known as puberty or adolescence, somehow social anxiety doesn’t seem to fade away like the acne, or awkward voice breaks. The memory of walking into a room at school and having no idea where you are going to sit, because you don’t know if you have any friends to sit with, still seems pretty real, even in your twenties.

I thought the privilege of being an adult meant that you were automatically given the power to never question your place in the social world? Whoever spread this misinformation is a dirty liar, and should be locked away. When you’re in your twenties, making new friends and learning to just be yourself around other people is still kind of tricky, and don’t worry if you're still learning how. Truth be told, we all are.

#1 No one knows what they are doing.

It can be easy to look at some people and think that their confidence and quick wit means they have life sussed, or because someone is always smiling, they are always happy. No one really has everything together perfectly in life, some people are just better at hiding it better than others. So don’t get too down if you don’t have your life together either.

#2 People probably like you more than you realise.

One of my own worst fears is thinking that I am just the annoying one in the friend group, and that people only want to hang around me because they have just gotten used to me. But those doubts are not true. No one over thinks your place somewhere more than yourself. Don’t drag yourself down, you're doing great!

#3 Be ok with spending time on your own.

It is a fact of life that sometimes we will need to be by ourselves sometimes. We can often think that to be doing well in life we need to be surrounded by other people, or we need other people to make us feel better, when in fact that can all start with just yourself. Don’t be afraid of learning to enjoy spending time on your own. Treat yourself to a dinner for one once in a while. LOVE YOURSELF.

#4 Not everyone is meant to be your friend.

As you get older, your circle of friends or people of influence, is most likely going to shrink. That is perfectly okay! As you may think about expanding your friendship circles, you will probably come to realise that most people are not like you, and most people you might not even get along with. And again, that’s perfectly okay, we are all different, and that’s great. So if you only have a couple people close by you, no worries about it.

So with all being said and done, take your time socialising if it’s not really your thing, love yourself first, and figure out who you wanna be, before you worry about letting other people into your life.

For more inspiration and stories to put a smile on your face check out our podcast episode ‘Default Cry (How To Deal with Social Stress)’.

See you there!

Written by Jonah.

#socialstress #socialbutterfly #adulting #lifeinyour20s

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